Sloppy Joes Are My Emergency Bros.

Everyone has those quick meals they can make on a rainy day when they don't feel like cooking. They're also the same type of food that you can eat in the middle of the night when you're craving a snack. Mine is sloppy joes.

I didn't realize that they were until the one day my future-in-law started making sloppy joes using Hunt's Manwich Sloppy Joe Sauce in a can. This will shock everyone once I reveal this one thing about me as an openly gay black male. Up until the day I was watching my future mother-in-law cook these things in the kitchen, two things:

1. I never saw these Hunt's Manwich cans a day in my life.

2. I didn't know that sloppy joes were also called "manwich."

3. I learned how to make sloppy joes from scratch via this YouTube video, and this canned sauce was never included in the video.

It was a new learning experience for me. I can admit I was oblivious to this factual thing, but I'm grateful to know about this. I admitted to her that this is my midnight, rainy-day snack. As long as their beef and the necessary ingredients to make these things, I can always lean toward this guy.

Why are sloppy joes great emergency snacks? Let me tell you.

They're easy to make. It's inexpensive. They're high in calories to give you energy. Sloppy joes are a high-calorie meals which can help you stay energized during an emergency. These meals are non-perishable, allowing them to be stored for long periods of time without spoiling, making them a good option for long-term food storage.

I also like the fact that they're portable. I can easily pack them and place them in my bag for lunch breaks during my crazy work schedules. In addition to these factors, sloppy joes are also versatile meals that can be customized to your liking. You can add different ingredients to the meat mixture, such as beans, corn, or vegetables. You can also use different types of bread for the sandwiches, such as hoagie rolls, hamburger buns, or pita bread.

This is why sloppy joes are my emergency bros.

Egg Shells Kept Giving Me Twins

 

I know I shouldn't be complaining that these particular eggs I bought keep giving me twins or triplets every time I crack open only one shell, but this is starting to get ridiculous.

One day, I was in the car with my fiance and future mother-in-law, traveling across Harlem. Annette told me about this discount deal she scored when it came to eggs at her fellow supermarket Food Dysnasty. I have to admit that I was surprised at this discount. Three cartons of eggs that contain one dozen of each of them for only $5. Are you kidding me?

I thought I found a pot of gold or something. In recent months, egg prices have been skyrocketing due to the major loss of animals. For example, there was a major explosion at a dairy farm in Texas that killed 1 human and 18,000 cattle. Also, egg production has been hit hard by an avian flu outbreak, which wiped out 50.54 million birds in the U.S. in 2022. Getting a carton of eggs months ago would almost destroy your paycheck.

So when it came time to pick up Annette from the grocery store, I immediately went into Food Dynasty and got my three egg cartons. I immediately got my blessing. Little did I know that the blessings were to come to us again. Things like this rarely happen. Well not only did it happen at the apartment, but it began happening surreptitiously.

One morning, I decided to cook breakfast for us because I couldn't sleep. I'm a night owl who works and do everything all night. When the sun comes up it's like a vampire trying to avoid the lights. I want it to go away, so I can go to sleep. However, this was one of those rare days that I developed insomnia. No sleep was going to happen to me on that day.

I took out one carton and planned to scramble the eggs. I cracked one egg and one yolk came out. When I cracked a second one two yolks. I stood there in total shock for that I've never seen two yolks come out of one shell. I told Darryl about it and all he said was I should be thankful that I got twins. I agreed and just said that it's just a rare thing that won't happen again.

I was deeply wrong.

Cracking those eggs was opening surprise boxes on a game show. One day, I get one yolk. The next day, I get two yolks. By the third day, it's two yolks again. The fourth egg ended up being one. It was like playing a game in the middle of cooking. Then once on a blue moon, I cracked one egg and got triplets.

I laughed my freaking butt off. I called Annette about what I was going through. She laughed along with me because that's been happening to her too. So you know what I think? I think I'm going to bring my ass back to Food Dynasty and buy specifically that brand. If those chickens at that farm are laying and popping out those many babies, I'm only sticking to this company right here.