Log #1: My Current Moments of Anxiety & Depression

I'm not going to lie. Life can be a real bitch and lead you to depression.

For the past year and a half, I've been going through what everyone has been experiencing during the quarantine of COVID-19. Throughout my life, I've worked as a journalist and brand ambassador for multiple companies like Coca-Cola, Pepsi, TripAdvisor, liquor companies, etc. Working as a sampler and as a physical representation of the company. I made amazing money working for these companies freelance. While I was going through college, my rent was covered and food was always in my fridge.

But then things shut down.

Businesses were closed. All of my agencies stopped. Some of them shut down because they couldn't afford the mortgage in their buildings or something. So that caused me not to be booked for gigs. It was a disaster.

So I spent months with no gigs. Just laying in bed watching movies and tv shows over and over again with my pet rabbit. It was fun for the first three weeks, but then it was horrible. I felt like I was developing OCD. I had to do something. I started cleaning the house and reorganizing the furniture. I started cooking meals that can last two weeks. I was writing in my journal like a coyote.

I don't know but I think there is some mentality of a man where they need to work. If they don't, they go crazy. There was a report it's the reason for a lot of crimes happening in certain cities. The reason why the men are causing crimes is that they're bored.

Anyway, I did get depressed. I was binge drinking a lot. My friends called worried about me. I stayed in my apartment for three months. My place was a mess because I only ordered takeout the entire time towards the end. Damn, I can't wait for this to end.

But throughout this experience, I realized the best to do is to not hide my feelings and keep it in. So I made the decision to go back into blogging about my life again. And to be quite honest, it's actually healthy. But unfortunately, I can't bring back my previous blog "Roque's Reality." So I decided to start a new one. Kind of like evolution.

So I've started this new blog. Like always, I'm not holding back. So everyone, welcome to "Roque's Log."