Log #13: Your Drunken Head Almost Fell On This So Called "Fag's" Shoes

It's amazing how a homophobe reveals their true identity once they're in a drunken state. It's sarcastic and funny to see. I'm never the type of person to react angrily to situations like that. I find it sarcastic. I had a recent situation and I couldn't wait to laugh when I got home.

I was walking home after shopping at Target to get my favorite big bag of Flamin' Hot Nacho Doritos. Let me stop kidding. I bought three large bags. It's like winning the lottery to find these rare bag of chips. I swear, it's a treasure hunt finding these little or big babies.

The Target I go to is only twenty minutes in walking distance away from me. To some people, it's longer, but I have athletic feet. So I can power walk and move faster than the average person who hasn't developed legs like that growing up. No judgement. I just know I know I can walk faster than the average person.

I arrived at the front of my apartment complex. Sitting outside on the steps was this man who was obviously drunk based on the way he was slinging back and forth like he was ready to fall at any minute. As I was heading towards the door, the only thing on my mind was to ignore him. That was when he showed off his true colors.

I got to the door. That was when he saw me. I took only one glimpse at him to see he was fine. That was when he closed his eyes and said silently "I don't fuck with fags. I don't fuck with homos."

Of course, that was instant shock for me to hear all of that. But he said that homophobic remark, he leaned so far to the right, his head almost landed on my shoes. Luckily, he didn't. A part of me wanted to help him, but after that remark, I wouldn't mind if his head landed on the concrete stairs. If his head hit the ground, opening a hole in his forehead, I didn't give a damn. He showed himself.

I say all of that to say, even though he called me a faggot, this faggot would've helped you because you almost landed on his shoes. But since he said, call and bleed out of your forehead.

Log #12: Chris Rock & Will Smith Are Both Guilty

I didn't want to comment on this situation, but peer pressure has forced me to talk about this. So here is my commentary on the situation and everyone can stop emailing me.

Last night was a beautiful night for all Hollywood stars in cinema. The Academy Awards ceremony where artists and filmmakers alike receives the highest honor a person can receive showcasing their work for the entire year. The Oscar. But like always, the awards show doesn't end without little controversey that later becomes headlines both inside and out. Last night was no exception.

When Chris Rock came to present an award he acknowledged Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett-Smith in one of his jokes. He compared Jada to the Demi Moore film "G.I. Jane" because of Jada's head. Out of the blue, Will came on stage and slapped Chris Rock in the face. What was thought to be part of the act turned out to be more personal.

Will Smith shouted out "Keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth!"

Will Smith Slaps Chris Rock UNCENSORED

Everyone was shocked to see what has happened afterwards. Sean "Diddy" Combs tried to calm everyone down during his time on stage. Denzel Washington and Tyler Perry both put Will Smith to the side and had a private conversation. This has led to so many people why it happened and also if Will did the right thing hitting Chris for his dark misogny joke. While I've been reading people's comments via social media and national presses regarding the situation, I for one, had my own opinion on the situation.

After reading everything and watching the video clip over and over again, this is my final opinion on the subject. Will Smith and Chris Rock are both guilty.

Chris Rock is guilty for the attack on Jada's health. Don't get me that load of crap that Chris was unaware that Jada has alopecia. This is Black Hollywood. Everyone knows everyone. So without a doubt, he knew about Jada's condition.

Not only that, but Chris known for some of his misogny jokes. Watch some of his previous comedy specials. Will Smith could've taken that joke as an attack on Jada's gender. Will Smith is one of the smartest actors out there. Being the Libra that he is, he can read between the lines just by hearing the tone in your voice.

Now going to Will Smith.

Will Smith is also guilty for what he did. I know Will is a family man. He was being the husband defending his wife and a father defending his family name. So I understand that he felt like he had to protect all that he loves. But it doesn't excuse his actions.

There is old saying "There is a time and place for things."

Slapping someone in the face on national television wasn't the right action. If this situation took a left, Will would've been ridiculed for his action. But Hollywood respects Will Smith too much because he's known for his integrity. So stepping out of the character was a shock, but excused. At the same time, Will committed a crime. Legally, he could be charged with assault if Chris Rock wanted to pursue it.

I'm not surprised that Chris Rock decided not to press charges against Will Smith for assaulting him onstage. These are two grown ass men dealing with a combination of grown men problems and rich people problems. So it's not a big deal to the both of them and it shouldn't be a big problem for us. Let these two settle their problems privately.

Log #11: Socializing Can Be Exhausting

I'm sure I know I'm not the only one who thinks like this. When it comes to social obligations I have my limitations. Some people can carry on and talk with one another all day and all night. It's like a human radio that won't turn off and you tolerate it. I, for, one am not one of those people. 

Yet, some people don't get it and still feel like talking. Especially on the phone.

Personally, I have what I called "social limitations." What that means is I have a limit on how much I can interact with people. I love my friends and acquaintances. I love hanging out with them on various occasions. We talk about all of those most random crap in life. It can be about the food we eat, the people we met, updates on our lives, trashing talking while playing games, thinking about our futures, etc. The list can go on. We can talk as much as we want.

However, there are times when socializing can be physically and emotionally draining. 

After two hours, I just want to go home and lock myself in a quiet room. It's not that I want to avoid people. I need to go through a social recharge. Put my mind back on the Earth and get the heck out of the clouds. Then once I'm back to my common ground, I'm ready to socialize with people once again. 

My biggest hope is that I completely recover before the phone rings.

Roque's Log| Log #10: More Cooler Ranch Than Flamin' Hot - A Flamin' Hot Cooler Ranch Doritos Review

Since my childhood, the only chips I would ever eat are Salt and Vinegar flavored Lays chips. It was still in my heart all the way until my mid-20s. Then all of a sudden, something new was presented to the world. I couldn't resist trying it out. I buy so many bags in one shopping trip every time. It's #1 on my chip list and I don't think it's going anywhere.

Its name is Flamin' Hot Nacho flavor Doritos.

I can't quite describe how amazing my relationship with these Doritos is. It's like a marriage. I don't want to let it go. It instantly became my number one and I'll have it in my kitchen cabinet right next to the vanilla wafers I always eat whenever I'm working. So naturally, when I discovered that the Cooler Ranch Doritos have now been added to the Flamin' Hotlist, you know I had to give it a shot. I went to the grocery store, bought the chips, walked out, opened up, and took a bite instantly.

That is a bite I'll never forget and forever regret!

When I took the first bite I was expecting the fire to ignite and send my mouth down a ride of fiery race car driving. What I got was something different. The cooler ranch flavor was so overwhelming. It completely covered my tongue like an avalanche that wouldn't go away. There was more cooler ranch in those Flamin' Hot Doritos than there are in regular Cooler Ranch Doritos.

I couldn't even finish the whole bag. So I placed it on the ground next to a tent where I knew a homeless man was living. I didn't want food to go to waste. So I thought someone would like it more than me. I was done.

This is my opinion and my opinion alone. If you like those chips, by all means, eat the whole bag. My conclusion is that there are more Cooler Ranches than Flamin' Hot in these chips.

Log #9: Create And Update Your Bucket List Every Year

Everyone needs a bucket list. A bucket list is a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime. In other words, things you want to do before you die. It can be a small thing like cooking a meal to traveling somewhere in the world.

I have a personal bucket list. I started it three years ago and accomplished many things I wanted to do. Whenever I discover a new thing I want to experience, I write them down on a piece of paper. When next year comes I create an updated list. Things I haven't done, I keep them on the list. Then I add new things to the list. It's like starting a new adventure all over again.

That's the reason why years ago, I was a huge fan of the MTV show The Buried Life. These men went out of their way to truly fulfill their dreams and did the majority of the things they wanted to do before they die. I'm sure they're still going on their journey. Maybe even updating their lists just like me.

It's so much better than just waking up in the morning, wondering "What am I going to do today?"

Even if you're working, it's wonderful to have a hobby or plan and go with it. Think about it? Would you rather wake up in the morning confused because you don't know what to do, or would rather wake up in the morning with a task or hobby waiting for you because it's on your list?

What do you want to do for the rest of your life? Fill up that bucket list?

Log #8: Subway Dance Moment Gone Wrong

We all have moments at least once in our lives where independent street dancers come aboard random subway trains, dance their butts off to receive money from other fellow passengers. I managed to develop the art of ignoring. Living in New York City for quite a long time can do this to you. I'm no longer fazed by these subway dancers when they pop up on random occasions, do their hobbies or jobs, and leave. 

However, everyone is different and some people can never ignore their actions. Instead, they retaliate in their own shape and form. You know that saying. You need to think before you act. Well some people's mindset is the other way around. That was the case with this subway incident.

I was on my way home after getting on the 4 train on Union Square to take me to the Bronx where I reside. I was too engulfed in reading and highlighting important notes from a book I was using as research for a science fiction novel I was working. When the doors closed my eyes caught a glimpse of three guys wearing nothing but jogging pants and a white undershirt. In one of their hands was a speakerbox. It was when I knew in that moment that these were subway dancers and all passengers were about to encounter another moment of random performances.

I didn't pay attention to any of the passengers sitting beside me. My mind was focused on two things; my book and the subway dancers. When the doors closed the drama began.

The dancers stopped at no time to begin the show. As always, they begin with greeting the passengers. The passenger next to me didn't accept the handshake while I did. Then the dance begin. To make a long story short, there was this one trick where the dancer had his cap on his foot. Then he raise his foot to the flip the cap so it could land on his hand. That didn't go so well with the passenger.

He raised up and threatened to hurt the dancer. He said that if he hit him or his wife, there was going to be a problem. I finally got the chance to pay attention to who I was sitting next to. It was this tattooed biker type of guy. A real bad boy who didn't appear to get into a fight. As it appeared a fight was going to occur, it what was happening during the situation that really surprised me.

Instead of trying to keep them away from each other, passengers got out of their seats and ran to the end of the train like a bunch of scaredy cats. I was surprised by their instant reaction. Did the situation regarding the two guys faze me? Of course, but not to the point where I wanted to run away. So I stayed in my seat and went nowhere. It wasn't my situation, so those two know not to mess with me unless they wanted another person involved in the situation.

We eventually made it to the next stop and everyone got off. Someone did jump in to stop them but that was when the train stopped. Eventually, everyone left and things were normal. I continued to work. So that happened. In the end, this is my perspective. In the event that a scuffle like this happens, I don't just jump and run away. I don't show fear of any kind when it comes to situations. Now if weapons were involved, then I would back off.

In my opinion, here is my advice and conclusion regarding vulnerable New York City pedestrians. GET A BACKBONE!

Log #7: How To Know If It's Time To Toss Out The Old Clothes

As fashion and seasons change, we change. We make plans in wanting to do things different and not have certain materials that reflects on our past lives in the past year or five years. The most common place that we always make changes is right there in our room. You know the place. You go inside multiple times a day. The closet.

One of the most common questions we ask ourselves is how do we know when it’s time toss out our old clothes? You’re beginning to declutter, deciding whether to keep or remove things from one room to the next. Most rooms are simple, but we can all agree that our closet is by far the most difficult space to sort out. This is how you know when it’s time.

Open the door and take a good look inside.

This is when you put your observational skills to the test. Look inside your closet and give a deep look from the shirts down to the shoes. You’re being self-aware in seeing exactly what you’ve been wearing for the last three or five years. Understanding and realizing that maybe it’s time for certain clothes to be removed. Don’t act on impulse and just start removing things off the hangers, creating piles of clothing across the room. Take a look at everything the first time, so that by the time you start all over again, you’ll know what to toss out.

There really isn’t a certain date and time everyone follows in regards to going in their closet, and tossing out their old clothes. We all have that one day when we say to ourselves that it is time to start decluttering. But it all starts with just opening that door, taking a sharp gaze at it, and finally coming to the realization that to start giving that closet more space, and look cleaner.

After that, you can do all the crazy things you want to do; play dress up with the clothes while looking in the mirror. Then of course beginning the three-way label process: keep, storage, and toss. Now if the clothes are obviously showing signs of wear and tear, a change of color, or a smell that can never go away no matter how many times you put it in the laundry. That’s the definite moment when you have to tell yourself it’s time to get that piece of crap out of your closet.

Don’t turn it into a souvenir. The fabric is dead. Let it rest in peace and get it out of there. You don’t want to walk around the street looking like a homeless person because you’re having detachment issues with that shirt. If you care about it, just buy a new modern version of it.

We all update our closets every season and year as we grow up. We follow trends or come up with our own style with a mixture of old and new. When the time comes that you want to get rid of those old clothes you’ll know. You’ll look at them and just say it’s time to toss those things out. And that’s when the decluttering begins.

Log #6: Don't Say "I'm Sorry" Unless You Mean It

When was the last time you received an apology from someone, and you know in your heart that they didn’t mean it? It can be from the way they said it or their actions causing chaos without showing any signs of innocent redemption. In places like New York City, one of the most common things I’ve encountered is when based on what someone said or did to me, they’ll constantly say “I’m sorry.” It won’t be just one situation. It’s a repeated pattern. It’s as if those two words is the perfect excuse to do what they do, and satisfy the other person’s ego after the damage is done or currently in repairs.

Every once in a while, I would be minding my own business while observing how people are interacting with each other. There was this one encounter where this male and female bumped into each other. It appeared to be an accident, but my thoughts once the male said to the female “I’m sorry.” Call me crazy, but my instincts went into overdrive and I rewind my brain back to when the male bumped into her. From the way he said those two words sarcastically, I could tell that he wasn’t truly apologizing. He bumped into that woman on purpose to feel her body and tried to mask his actions by blurting out those sincere two words.

I found that incident ridiculous and disrespectful. It brought back memories of previous encounters I’ve had in the past where no matter what someone said or did to me, when they apologized to me, I could tell from the tone of their voices that they didn’t mean it. Instead of retaliating, I would just walk away before I bring the debate up to another level since that’s obviously what they were expecting to happen.

We as a society are taking away the true meaning to the term “I’m sorry,” and are taking advantage of the two words for their own dark benefit. People like that assume that the average person are so illogical that they won’t be able to tell that when you say those two words, we wouldn’t be able to tell that you truly didn’t mean it. That we won’t able to see through the curtain of lies.

There is a deep meaning behind “I’m sorry.” When you speak those two words it publicly states that you acknowledge that you did or said something wrong. So instead of letting the problem linger, you stab that problem to death right there and move on with your lives. No more fighting or wondering when you’re going to receive those two terms of endearment. It’s a clean slate and you’re moving on with your lives.

Consider this a lesson and public service announcement for people in the future. When you apologize for something that you’ve said or did, mean it to straight down to your core. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it at all. Many human beings aren’t mentally blind. They can read right through your lies based on the way you speak and rotate. Stop taking advantage of those two terms and put your heart back into “I’m sorry.”

Better to admit that you were wrong than linger in guilty denial twenty-four-seven because you don’t want to admit that you made a mistake.

Log #5: Hospitals Can Be The Medical Version of Prison

I make it a consistent effort to stay healthy and not get involved in an unfortunate circumstance that will require me to go to the hospital and be admitted for a short period of time. The main reason is that, in my personal opinion, hospitals are just as bad as prisons.

Think it over. At certain hospitals, all of your personal belongings are placed in plastic bags while you change into your hospital gown. Then you're given your own bed while waiting for services from other nurses to be provided to you. In the meantime, security checks through all of your belongings. Your credit cards and healthcare cards are placed in a separate bag. Your wallet is a shell of its own like it's been stripped naked of its pride. If they actually cut them open, there would've been lawsuits at this point.

When it comes to you as a patient it's like you're on video surveillance 24/7. You can't get out of your bed and walk for ten seconds without security asking you where you're going. Then either approved or denied, you're directed back to your bed where you continue to stay and be monitored.

While in bed, you begin to observe the chaos that surrounds nurses, security, machines, and patients. It's a horror movie right in front of you. Forget looking at your cell phone since it was confiscated. Just look in front of you and there is a live horror movie scene in full video. Let's also add the other reason why it's hard to leave. There is a needle on your arm that is hooked to the medicine. The only person that can professionally remove the needle is the nurse. That is borderline horrible.

Finally, you can't leave the hospital until you're given the discharge papers. Now that you're admitted, your entire file is in full view. You're a patient. When the doctors feel like you're ready to face the world, that's when they'll give you the discharge papers and you'll have permission to leave. That or there are more important patients and your case can be looked at as very minor.

Maybe I'm exaggerating because I have high functioning anxiety. That's just how I feel sometimes when you're admitted. Pieces of your independence are stripped and put in the hands of a few medical professions.